Perfectionism is a feature of diligent workers, the desire to do everything perfectly. At first glance, it helps to succeed. But in fact, focusing on details along with excellent student syndrome can give you a neurosis.
What is perfectionism
The meaning of the word “perfectionism” comes from the French “perfection” (perfection). A perfectionist is a person who wants to achieve the ideal in everything that he does. It sets everyone high standards. He believes that imperfect work has no right to life.
Types of Perfectionism
Neurotic
This is a destructive feature. Such a person has overestimated ideas about ideals that cannot be achieved. He hangs on secondary tasks, devotes too much time to details and cannot go to the main goal. Worried about feeling important because she wants recognition.
Failing, ceases to enjoy the job, worries hard. Depressed. At school, such a person ideally kept a notebook, but did not complete the tasks.
Adaptive
Healthy perfectionism. Such a person adequately assesses his strength. He knows that the ideal does not exist, but he wants the best. He can rebuild the plan for the campaign of work and thinks about positive feedback, and not about perfection at all costs.
Perfection Studies
The first concept was used by the American psychologist Cholender in 1965. Alfred Adler and Karen Horney talked about the same topic. They viewed the problem as a desire for power and excellence that arises from inferiority..
Then Western scientists developed the structure of the phenomenon. Identified parameters. The British psychologist Frost talked about the importance of parental behavior. He noted that craving for perfect work is not always a pathology.
In Russia, research began in the 80-90s. A detailed model was proposed by Natalya Garanyan and D. Hamchek. They called the criteria for healthy and pathological perfectionism. Kholmogorova’s work is still valuable. Together with Garanyan, they described the effect of perfectionism on depression..
Hewitt-Flette Perfectionism Scale
This is a questionnaire scale developed by Canadians by scientists. The authors rely on the theory of three components of perfectionism:
- Self-orientation (when a person makes excessive demands on himself).
- Orientation to others (excessive requirements for others).
- Social precepts (when a person believes that others want too much from him).
The technique consists of three subscales of 15 points each. Each studies one component. The total score indicates the level of perfectionism in general. Only 45 questions. You need to answer on a 7-point scale, where 1 – absolutely disagree, and 7 – completely agree.
Among domestic techniques, an interesting questionnaire is Garanyan and Kholmogorova. He studies several elements of character, the perception of others, high expectations, inflated claims.
Is perfectionism a disease? This is bad?
Hewitt and Flett noted that passion for a high standard is not a pathology, if the joy of the results correlates with efforts.
That is, if you experience pleasure from the result that exceeds your “hardships”, then you do not suffer from poor perfectionism. Here they usually say: “No wonder I tried” or “It was worth it”.
If you are not satisfied with yourself or others, and self-esteem remains at zero for a long time, no matter what you do, then you need to consult a psychologist.
Symptoms and signs of perfectionism
How do perfectionists behave:
- Puzzled by their shortcomings and mistakes.
- Not sure about the quality of the work done.
- Waiting for an assessment from.
- Afraid not to live up to expectations (social perfectionism).
- Constantly comparing themselves to others.
- They react sharply to criticism and are angry with themselves.
- Ignore success.
- Live by the principle of “all or nothing”.
Reasons for Perfectionism
How to become perfectionists?
People turn into them unconsciously. Affects upbringing. Parents do not praise the child, do not approve of him, often criticize. He is forced to seek their love. The penchant for excellence originates even before school or in elementary grades.
Bad perfectionism is associated with the replacement of the real world with some kind of ideal. People with an inferiority complex who need compensation.
Problems and consequences
- Perfectionists constantly suffer from internal conflicts and anxiety. They do not forgive themselves minimal oversights.
- Fixated on approval. Having received an excellent mark from society, the perfectionist will strive for it by any means.
- A man does not enjoy life, does not notice pleasant trifles. Good relations with loved ones and friendships fade into the background.
- Mistakes cause stress. The perfectionist lives in tension, does not allow himself to relax.
- It processes, so it easily gets sick. May cure cardiovascular disease due to exhaustion.
Perfectionists often raise their children in the same style. Paving the ground for complexes, fears and neuroticism at an early age.
How to get rid of perfectionism
It is difficult to defeat perfectionism in everything for a few universal tricks. Work on the character is also communication with a psychologist. It helps identify sources and symptoms..
1. Farewell to yourself slack
Shorten the list of things that should be “perfect.” For example, if you need to abandon perfectionism in cleaning, it is not necessary to rearrange books by size and alphabet, or sort things by color in the closet.
2. Follow the plan
Ideas where we want to be perfect take time. But this does not mean that you need to think about them constantly or work on the project for days..
Suppose you have a hobby that you are fanatical about. Develop a clear program for yourself, where once a day you will spend time with him. For the rest – relax, chat with friends or engage in spiritual development.
3. Treat life with humor
If you make minor mistakes, look at them with irony, imagine them in a funny light. This will help to be optimistic and eliminate unnecessary perfectionism at work..
4. Take care of time management
Limit time. For example, you photoshop photos and try to do the job perfectly. Set the exact time for each image..
Find your speed, which will be normal for a single photo. How much time to complete, leave so much. Go to the next one. An ordinary person will not notice small flaws.
5. Do not go in cycles
Perfectionism fetters people, makes them afraid of where they might make mistakes. Partly related to this is the fear of a clean slate – when the result of the work will not correspond to the plan.
If you need to get rid of perfectionism in creativity, set yourself the task of composing or creating new things daily. Skip the moment you were stuck last time. No need to stagnate
6. Be distracted
When you stop getting the joy of the business in which you want to be the best, you need to switch. If you are obsessed with work, you will be distracted by any cultural program or personal care..
7. Do what you never did
Recognize that people will not scold you for indulging yourself..
A classic example is a girl who considers herself ugly in comparison with an idol. She spends a lot of time on the image and makeup, thinking that otherwise everyone will point with a finger.
If she goes out in ordinary jeans, she will be convinced that strangers do not care about her appearance. Everyone is busy with their thoughts..
8. Do not ignore support
In pursuit of approval, a person does not notice real successes. Or, on the contrary, the perfectionist is only interested in his perception of the results, and he neglects the words of others. It’s important to see from the side.
If you are an internet marketer, artist, write texts, make a blog – show your work to friends or family members. Do not argue when they begin to praise. Share achievements with colleagues.
Books
“The perfectionist paradox”
Book of Tal Ben Shahar, an American scholar of Israeli descent. A work on how the pursuit of excellence distances us from happiness.
“Better Perfection”
A book from the current clinical psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo on how to overcome internal criticism. The author gives 7 strategies.
“Work and personality: workaholism, perfectionism and laziness”
A major work for psychologists and sociologists on the contemporary perception of professional activity. Author E.P. Ilyin, examines the structure and genesis of the phenomenon.
“Effective mess”
Book by Eric Abrahamson and David Friedman. A collection of life stories from famous people who have denied the truth that you need to live in discipline and with a tight schedule. The authors argue that moderate disorder helps in everything: from parenting to retail.
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How do these 8 ways to get rid of perfectionism compare to other methods? Are they effective for individuals with severe perfectionist tendencies or just for those with mild perfectionism?
These 8 ways to get rid of perfectionism can be effective for individuals with both mild and severe perfectionist tendencies. While each method may be more suitable for certain individuals, the effectiveness varies from person to person. Some might find one technique particularly helpful, while others may benefit more from a combination of several methods or even alternative approaches. It is essential to approach perfectionism on an individual basis, considering personal traits, circumstances, and goals. In severe cases, professional help might be necessary to address the underlying issues that contribute to perfectionism. Ultimately, the effectiveness of these methods depends on the willingness and commitment of individuals to implement and adapt them to their specific needs.