When you start dating someone, questions about money in a relationship and security do not come to the fore. But gradually, the closer you get to know a person, the more important the topic of his financial independence becomes. The security of the overall budget depends on this. A national survey by American analytical company Experian in 2017 showed that 59% of divorced people consider money to be the reason for the collapse of the family. Moreover, people massively stated that they did not know about the financial habits of partners before marriage and regret it.
In order not to join the ranks of divorced families, discover financial instability at an early stage and offer assistance on time. Watch the lighthouses – red signals. This is not about monetary restrictions on a date or denial of a desired gift. This does not indicate financial immaturity..
If you see that a loved one matches the signs below and repeats these scenarios in behavior, it’s time to talk with him tête-à-tête on a financial topic.
Your partner allows unpaid bills to accumulate
It is useful to observe the tactics of human behavior in matters of financial accounts. Concerned should be a strategy of ignoring. So says Michelle Goppner, senior manager of loan products at Alliant Credit Union.
“A huge pile of late notifications and unopened letters with credit card bills indicate that the partner is inclined to get away from financial problems and literally hides his head in the sand”.
Your partner is struggling with addiction
There are many links between addictions and financial attitudes. If a person is addicted to drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc., he spends a lot of money on it and does not think about monetary health.
Financing addictions is more important for most people than saving money, budgeting, and investing. Some individuals may forget about basic necessities and food. April Masini, author and etiquette and relationship expert, says addiction is a sign of a person’s important relationship with his desires. And in these relations there is no place for anything else, including normal financial life.
Your partner is financially underdeveloped
It is one thing if a loved one has debt on loans, but is working on a solution to the problem. This is not always a cause for concern. Another, if the partner does not understand his credit status and financial statistics at all. Michelle Hoppner believes that people should be suspicious of those who do not want to understand these issues.
Your partner has a lot of credit cards
If the other half is not a genius in terms of receiving bonuses from credit offers, consider a wallet swollen from cards as a bad sign. This hints that the person does not monitor expenses, which means that he ignores growing debts and considers a credit card as the best way to pay.
Your partner is suspicious about your spending or lifestyle.
When your half buys a lot of cool gadgets, fashionable clothes and an expensive car, but does not have a permanent job or refuses reasonable financial investments (for example, buying an apartment), then we are again talking about the state of financial instability. And here it is already necessary to proceed from our own impressions: do not dismiss the feeling that something does not converge in behavior or does not have financial meaning.
Your partner is lying to you
Money in a relationship requires honesty. If the partner does not tell the whole truth about his financial actions, this indicates monetary instability and a low level of trust. Check to see if accounts and checks are being hidden from you or taking loans and cash loans secretly. However, do not push too hard on this person: it is quite possible that he is in a difficult life situation and is afraid to share the problem with you.
Your partner is obsessed with shopping
When all the actions in a relationship revolve around shopping, you need to think about it. The Argumenty i Fakty newspaper claims that compared to the early 2000s, the number of shopaholics in Russia increased 2.5 times.
Sanam Hafiz, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York, writes in his article: “When someone enters the store and thinks“ What can I buy here? ”And not“ What do I really need? ”, He wants to spend his money as much as possible “.
What to do?
1. Stop the relationship at the initial stage
Money in a relationship is an important aspect. If the relationship has begun to build up, and the financial burden is already under pressure, refuse to create a family with a partner. The same applies to situations when a person does not want to talk with you, stubbornly denies the presence of problems and refuses to visit a financial specialist. Sometimes the salvation of a drowning man is the work of the drowning man, or at least his desire. Remember that no one should keep someone else’s accounts for the rest of his life and not pay for his loans. If you value your own peace of mind and have no financial obligations and children with your partner, it’s better to leave peacefully.
2. Build an honest dialogue about money
If you are ready to deal with monetary issues of the second half, you feel that the relationship is strong and strong, talk. Michelle Hoppner suggests immediately suggesting ways to help. You can independently (if you feel such a willingness) deal with accounts and loans, taking the budget on yourself. Make a spending plan and start monitoring. This will allow you to develop the right money habits.
3. Consult a specialist
Have a serious conversation with a partner. Outline his current position and say that you may have common financial goals. Find a financial advisor and other specialist (such as a psychologist). Write a half or both of you in several sessions. Regular meetings with a professional and frank communication should help make progress, depending on the severity of the situation..
It doesn’t matter which way of action you liked more, remember that the main thing is to talk with a partner. An honest conversation will allow you to resolve many omissions and destroy the wall of distrust between loved ones.
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What are the warning signs of financial instability in a partner? I want to ensure the financial wellbeing of my relationship, so any insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.