How to live with an alcoholic husband

The content of the article

• What brings the alcoholism of others
• Partner Status
• Self-guilt
• Feeling cheated
• Controlling alcohol intake
• Justification or misunderstanding of a problem
• How to help spouse

Being in a relationship with a person who abuses alcohol is always difficult: addiction affects the mental state of the alcoholic and others. Close, friends often begin to unconsciously perform actions that only exacerbate the situation. To prevent this, you need to know the features of living with a dependent.

What brings the alcoholism of others

A person with alcoholism at an early stage tries to hide the problem, thinking that it affects only him. The drinker gives out behavior, thinking, rash actions. Under the influence of alcohol, speech, gait changes, brain function deteriorates – memory, ability to perceive, comprehend information.

Alcoholism can provoke financial, legal problems that will affect not only the drinker, but also family members. As the disease develops, a person ceases to control actions, speech, therefore, is able to unintentionally harm others.

Partner Status

The alcoholic’s family is often fearful. Relatives have a fear for themselves, because there is no confidence in the behavior, thoughts of a person with addiction: in a drunken stupor he is able to do what he regrets later. There is fear for an alcoholic, because he can completely lose his rational thinking, lose social skills, get into a difficult financial situation, commit a crime, or even harm himself. Relatives living with a drinking person are always nervous.

Self-guilt

Many wives try to keep their loved one “clean” in their eyes – this is a feature of female psychology. A drunken husband becomes innocent of alcohol dependence, and the reason lies in the imperfections of those who are near. Particularly active women are turning the arrows on themselves so as not to start a scandal or a fight when the spouse is intoxicated – so they try to maintain a relationship.

Feeling cheated

When loved ones cease to understand how to live with an alcoholic, they try to make him stop drinking. Less often, a person himself makes such a decision, feeling guilty before his family. If the process does not involve professionals who, in the conditions of a medical center, will conduct a full course of detoxification, rehabilitation, the chances of success will be minimal. Relapse will happen quickly, and a new phase of binge will be more difficult.

For relatives of an alcoholic, this causes a feeling of deceived expectations: they have already believed that the situation will quickly recover. You need to understand that dependence on alcohol is a very serious chronic condition, from which they are selected for months and years. Relapse is characteristic of alcohol even during recovery: a person is unable to constantly control himself, the disease takes precedence over thoughts, behavior.

Controlling alcohol intake

Some spouses try to solve the problem radically and get rid of all alcohol in the house, wanting to stop the process. Often, attempts to protect the drinking husband from any places where it is real to get alcohol are added to this: bars, restaurants, shops. If a man continues to work, lead an active social life, they begin to follow each step to prevent the appearance of a bottle in the visibility zone of his beloved.

Such tactics will only aggravate the situation, especially if combined with frequent reproaches and demands to stop drinking. This is a violation of personal boundaries, strong psychological pressure and a manifestation of mistrust, to which alcoholics react sharply. Total control can lead to more sophisticated attempts to get to alcohol and even become dangerous for loved ones if a person in a state of withdrawal breaks on them.

Justification or misunderstanding of a problem

Everyone wants to see in his beloved only good features, no matter what actions he performs. For this reason, wives to the last deny a serious mental illness in husbands to others and to themselves. They try to explain everything with the words “he sometimes drinks”, “he doesn’t always know the measure” and present it as rare situations that can happen to anyone. This often happens because the brain does not fully accept the problem..

Some women, trying to protect a drunken husband, are looking for excuses. Spouses come up with a reason why he picked up a bottle, convince themselves and others that there was no other option to survive the grief or problem. Often, mothers who do not want the child to blame dad for weaknesses do this. They are trying to support her husband and at the same time protect the children’s psyche..

How to help spouse

• Think over reactions. You should forget about the accusations and attempts to shame the drunk, so the first time you will have to weigh every emotion, a word addressed to her husband. You should not be shown how hard it is to live with an alcoholic. It is important to behave calmly, demonstrate an understanding of the situation, a willingness to help solve it.
• Look at the problem soberly. Do not deny its existence, do not seek excuses. Remember that you want to keep the relationship and the person. Talk more with your husband, sort the situation, look for the roots.
• Take outside help. Not every drinker is able to cope with addiction on their own. Consult a psychotherapist, narcologist, other doctors to find a solution to the problem. Getting close to an alcoholic will also be useful to get psychological support from specialists or even friends.
• Take care of personal safety.. Living with an alcoholic, especially if the family has small children, is associated with risks. Explain to your husband what you are afraid of, how relapses can affect others. He must understand that if he crosses the borders, you will have to protect yourself and the child, even to the detriment of relations.