How to overcome fear and self-doubt: 12 ways to help change your life

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Most people live in fierce competition, daily overcoming a lot of internal barriers to achieve goals. It is more difficult to cope with some complexes, they do not allow to move on. If you remove the negative attitudes, it will be possible to overcome fear and self-doubt that prevent you from becoming happy.

Say stop to negative thoughts

Joyful girl

Often, self-confidence is lost due to people’s inability to control thinking. Negative thoughts arise automatically, without any effort on the part of man. Positive thinking, in contrast, often requires deep work on oneself. The simplest thing that you can do in moments of anxiety, doubt is to ask yourself the question: “What am I thinking now?” You will be surprised to find how far plunged into thoughts of something bad.

To overcome fear and insecurity, learn to mentally stop and watch everything that happens from the outside. Imagine sitting on the bank of a river and watching its course. The sweeping stream of water from the example reflects well the thought process. You can imagine flying birds or clouds in the sky. Watch them calmly, not trying to stop. Soon you will notice that all the negativity has passed, and it has been replaced by calm, peace.

Remember that there is no right and wrong decision


Studies by neuroscientists have revealed that the brain is designed for continuous analysis, criticism of everything that happens. This helps a person to weigh the pros and cons, make reasonable decisions. After the perfect actions, the brain automatically continues to analyze what has already happened. As a result, doubts arise, negative thoughts appear, anxiety.

To develop self-confidence, you need to understand in a timely manner that it is pointless to criticize yourself for the past. There are no perfect people, no one is immune from mistakes. If you argue even deeper, then there are no right and wrong actions. You need to realize that you did what you could at a particular point in time. This attitude removes many stereotypes and related problems..

Stop doubting and worrying

Constant thoughts of the past or future rarely bring positive results, but rather cause unnecessary worries. Often you worry about something that will never happen. It develops insecurity, prevents you from living here and now..

An analysis of the situation is useful provided that you can fix something. But sometimes circumstances develop against the will of man. It is worth accepting what happened and stop worrying. It’s much more effective to think about what you can do right now to become better and get rid of fears..

Talk to a friend or loved one

Conversation of two girlfriends

A confidential conversation with a girlfriend or long-time friend will help in cases where you are not able to independently understand the problem. If you are left in a crisis situation alone with yourself, then your thoughts will quickly take on a negative connotation, and you will be seized with fear of the future.

A frank conversation with a friend or relative will help to overcome self-doubt, get rid of isolation. When you begin to openly share your thoughts, you will soon realize that the problem is far-fetched, the reality is not so terrible as it seems. In addition, words of approval, compliments from loved ones increase confidence.

Write your thoughts on paper

Girl with a notebook

Not all people have the opportunity to talk with someone about their problems. In this case, you can express thoughts and emotions on paper. Keep a diary, write down everything you feel and worry about. It is advisable to do this daily to develop a habit. In a free form, it is recommended to list the gratitude for what you already have, write down the goals and obstacles that you face.

This method will help to clear the mind, establish a connection with oneself, realize one’s own reactions to events. Expressing your thoughts on paper daily, you will not allow them to “stagnate” in consciousness, you will not allow them to turn into negative ones. In addition, the diary will help to fix and accept different emotional states, restore harmony with the outside world..

Do not compare yourself with others

You can begin to doubt your own strength, if you constantly see the successes of other people. An insecure person often views other people’s profiles on social networks. It should be understood that photographs do not fully reflect the real lives of people. Even long-legged beauties face problems and crises, but carefully hide them behind glossy pictures.

Instead of spending time viewing profiles on Facebook or Vkontakte, pay attention to yourself, realize your own uniqueness and value. Remember achievements, start sharing successes with people around you, not expecting grades or approval from them. Over time, you will begin to notice that doubts, fear go away, and they are replaced by confidence, courage.

Forget what everyone else thinks only of you

Most people are concerned about how others see them. Self-assessment is based on the impression made. As a result, an erroneous opinion is formed, shyness and excessive modesty develop. All this is due to a lack of awareness of one’s own value. Accept the fact that people do not care what you do, how well you live and look. Everyone is concerned about their own problems, focused on their life.

Do not take criticism and comments to heart

Girl with a broken mirror

Think about how often you feel like a victim, how much you allow other people to influence your life. In a conversation, you may feel that you are being attacked, but in reality the interlocutor only expresses his opinion. This point of view is a reflection of his own world and nothing more. Recognize that the critic is always not talking about you, but about his attitude to your actions.

Change your mindset to positive

Girl in headphones

Insecurity, fear of doing something doesn’t poison life. It is important to understand that these negative feelings begin with thoughts. The perception of the surrounding reality depends on how and what you think. Therefore, to make yourself better, try to control your thoughts, suppress anxiety with a force of will, do not let doubts reach you.

When clearing the mind of negativity, at the same time form positive thinking. Doing yoga or a favorite thing, getting gratitude, physical activity increase the production of dopamine. This substance increases the level of internal motivation. You can better control your thoughts, defeat many fears.

The implementation of the recommendations of psychologists will increase self-esteem, help to overcome indecision, fear of communication with people:

  • Read motivating articles, books. Recommended Reading – “The Luck Factor” by Richard Wiseman, “Practical Happiness Course” by John Kehoe, “Change Your Thinking – and You Will Change Your Life,” Brian Tracy, “Hero” by Rhonda Byrne.
  • Listen to your favorite music.
  • Surround yourself with optimistic people.
  • Every time before going to bed, write down three positive moments that occurred during the day..

Failure is a stepping stone to success

Do not judge yourself, focusing only on negative experience. The erroneous thought that you are a failure is the result of negative (distorted) thinking. Any experience is necessary for growth, failure is just the next step or obstacle to success. Look at failure as an opportunity to learn new things. To move a step forward, to overcome self-doubt at work, it is worth making more efforts, perseverance.

Improve your skills and develop

Development triangle

Find a business to your liking, try to become the best in it. Start doing what you do well — play a musical instrument, knit, write poetry, or something else. Even small achievements in an area of ​​interest to you will help to quickly develop confidence and overcome shyness..

Keep a daily Journal of Thanks

Regretting that you do not have something only increases the suffering. So try to focus on the things that already exist in life. Make daily entries in the Journal of thanks – write about what made you smile, it pleased you. This will help to stabilize the internal state, develop a sense of satisfaction..

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