How to understand what is envied to you: 10 signs of envy in a loved one

The content of the article

• Downplay your achievements
• They say it’s just luck
• Copy your actions and actions
• Rejoice in failure and jealous of success
• Discuss and gossip behind
• Joyfully reporting bad news
• Arguing over trifles
• Compare your success with strangers
• Offended by advice
• Make insincere compliments

One of the most dangerous feelings that destroy any relationship and the person himself is envy. It appears when one feels worse than the other, but he is too weak to reach the desired level too. It affects both children and adults. If you have time to notice the first signs of a problem, the relationship of loved ones can be saved, not allowed to turn into hatred.

Downplay your achievements

An envious person realizes that he will not be able to reach such heights. To calm himself and reduce frustration from this fact, he pretends that there is nothing outstanding in your achievements. Telling such a person about success, there is a risk of losing faith in yourself, because the reaction will be negative, no matter how impressive they may be. You will not get the expected support..

When friends envy, your every success can make them try to do something to surpass you. They become imitators. Enviously, less envious friends simply lie that they can do it too, there’s nothing supernatural in this, nor is there reason for pride.

They don’t want to feel worse, and in the company they try to present your success as insignificant for others..

They say it’s just luck

The phrase may look like a compliment, but more often it is also an attempt to downplay achievements. A way to make them insignificant and show that your merit is not there. How to understand what is envied to you: to hear that a high position is not the result of many years of work, but random luck. A good spouse also got thanks to luck. You definitely got a diploma in a difficult specialty “for beautiful eyes” or with someone’s help.

This can be said by an envious girlfriend, work colleagues, and even relatives. Do not persuade them and do not try to explain how much effort you put in to get what you want. Envy will become even stronger. Better confirm that luck is all about it – it will confuse them or make them feel better.

Copy your actions and actions

Envy appears when a person wants to have what another has. In this way imitators are born who are very jealous of everything that makes and receives the object of their attention. Less often, people copy actions, actions, behavior and even speech from flattery when they gain an idol. If this is a manifestation of envy, the situation becomes absurd, because a person imitates the little things. It gradually starts to annoy.

Psychologists advise not to pay attention to the envious – he feeds on the reaction to it. If a close friend has become a copycat, there are chances to deal with the situation differently..

Show him that he can become someone significant, great (or already is) without copying you, in his personality. Remind about his strong qualities, achievements.

Rejoice in failure and jealous of success

Not reaching your goal, you give an occasion to feel happiness to a person who is jealous. It feels better, higher when you fall. It is important for the envious to feel that you do not reach his level. He often rejoices in secret, especially if he tries to outwardly maintain good relations with you. Each case of success with the object of envy gives the opposite effect: it spoils the mood, provokes sharp comments, even if they look playful.

Discuss and gossip behind

When you have things that make someone want to possess them, it provokes conversations. Envious people begin to build theories, how it appeared, what dishonest methods, how many connections had to be involved. They can expose all things in a negative light: discuss how you don’t like that dress or a new hairstyle, because they themselves want to wear or do it.

Gossip in the team at work often arises from envy of career success, especially if the colleagues are women. They may try to do harm: put a lot of negative comments in your address, unpleasant rumors, try to destroy the reputation in front of the authorities. It’s unrealistic to get rid of envious people in a team, so just ignore.

Joyfully reporting bad news

In order for people who envy to feel good, they need to spoil the mood of the object of envy. Not necessarily they will report something unpleasant with a happy smile on their faces, but their emotions at this moment are far from sympathy and empathy. It is easy to recognize jealousy here if the “informant” is in a good mood or he reads the news too calmly. Especially when this is your friend.

Colleagues at work who are envious bring bad news with an expression of superiority on the face or false sympathy. For them, your relationship is a tough competition, where you need to get rid of your opponent if he is far ahead.

Try to avoid frequent contact with such people..

Arguing over trifles

Enemies who are jealous of each case of your success are used as an occasion for sharp comments. Successful vacation dates and an exciting route, promotion, award, tickets for an expensive concert become the causes of the dispute. In every good moment, the envious seeks flaws. This is how jealousy of what you get is expressed. Do not react to these disputes sharply, try to smooth the corners.

Compare your success with strangers

Often, those who are jealous relate your achievements to the results of other people. They are trying to show that someone else can do the same and even better in order to discount their efforts and success. Envious people can minimize their achievements both in a personal conversation and in conversation with strangers. When communicating with such a person, do not imagine achievement as something significant: pretend that this is commonplace for you. So the envious will have less chance of hitting this weak point.

Offended by advice

If a friend starts to get angry every time you give him some recommendation, try to help morally, there is a problem in your relationship. He feels worse, lower in level and ability, and perceives the advice as a mockery. An obvious sign of envy: having a good figure, you recommend a friend how it is easier to lose weight, and he gets annoyed. He believes that his problem is underestimated and again indicates failure..

Stop giving this person advice.

Make insincere compliments

This situation often arises in one-sided friendships, especially between women. When one feels worse than the other, looking into her eyes she will praise a new hairstyle, outfit, makeup, apartment, speech at the conference. Only a compliment will sound too overtly or stereotyped, just “to be”. Often before evaluating you, a person takes a long pause. Sincere reactions fly off the tongue immediately.

Another possible option is when behind her back with your mutual friends she begins to discuss the same outfit, makeup, hair, but in a negative way. Nothing can be done with this, just do not wait for a sincere reaction from such a person and do not ask for an assessment.