How emotional abuse is manifested and what to do to the victim

The content of the article

• Psychological tyrant and victim
• Forms of emotional abuse
• Humiliation, criticism and guilt
• Controls and Prohibitions
• Unpredictability of behavior
• Accusations and denial
• Emotional neglect and isolation
• Co-dependency
• The consequences of psychological pressure
• How to stop being a victim in a relationship

According to statistics, every 4 women in Russia are in abusive relationships. Domestic violence manifests itself not only in the form of beatings. Tyrants often suppress a person morally. Emotional or psychological violence is a behavior aimed at establishing power and full control over a person. It is found not only in the family, but also at work.

Psychological tyrant and victim

Abyuzer – a person committing physical, emotional or financial violence. A tyrant may be a husband, wife, father or mother. Non-conflict, calm, timid people who experienced similar situations in childhood more often become victims. For example, parents raised a child with cruelty, subjected to psychological pressure. In adulthood, this person will not be able to resist such behavior, since he considers it the norm.

Women, men, and children can undergo abyuza. Uncertain people with a narcissistic character often become tyrants. The reasons for this behavior can be hidden in mental illness, children’s complexes. Aggressors are attracted by vibrant, successful personalities because they want to compensate for their insecurity by humiliating a partner.

Abjuctive relationships practically do not appear in public. The tyrant behaves gallantly, portrays a lover or parent. In private, the victim is subjected to ridicule, nit-picking, jealousy, and unfounded criticism. The aggressor makes fun of the partner’s achievements, makes him doubt his own adequacy.

Forms of emotional abuse

Constant quarrels, scandals, verbal pressure – varieties of psychological pressure. They exhaust, make you feel your own inferiority. Abusers are great manipulators. They set friends, colleagues and relatives against their partner. When communicating, offenders often manipulate children, belittling parental abilities.

Moral violence manifests itself in various forms, but the main goal is to establish complete control over the partner. Aggressor humiliates, criticizes in order to lower self-esteem to zero. A person suffering from abuse, often experiences unwarranted guilt, shame caused by the words of a tyrant.

Humiliation, criticism and guilt

Abyuzer criticizes appearance, hangs labels. The offender tries to condescendingly communicate with the object of emotional pressure. Some aggressors make fun of existing and imaginary flaws in public. Abyuzer considers any occupation of the partner unimportant, stupid. The tyrant accuses the victim of all problems, causing her a sense of shame, her own futility.

Controls and Prohibitions

An emotional rapist seeks to control all areas of life:

• limits in finances;
• threatens to take away children;
• makes important decisions for the partner;
• tracks location;
• checks calls and messages;
• establishes strict rules;
• indicates who to chat with, how to look.

Unpredictability of behavior

An abuzer can cast a scene of jealousy or showered with love confessions. In actions, the offender is guided only by his emotions. He often forces the victim to have sex as evidence of love. If the partner refuses, the tyrant begins a scandal. A morally depressed person is constantly in tension, not knowing what to expect..

Accusations and denial

Gazliting is a form of mental violence when the aggressor deceives a partner, harms him, and then denies everything that happened. When trying to talk about feelings or resentment, the object of violence is accused of excessive sensitivity, inflating an elephant from a fly. The offender makes the victim believe that she has problems with anger.

Emotional neglect and isolation

• Dehumanization – the abuser pretends not to notice the victim, ignores the conversation.
• Ban on communication – the partner should not maintain relationships with friends, relatives.
• Challenging the Senses – the offender denies, devalues ​​other people’s emotions.
• False accusations, threats.

Co-dependency

Often in abusive relationships, the weak side gets used to violence, considers it the norm, although it suffers. A tyrant needs a sacrifice through which he can assert himself, so he will never let his partner go. A morally depressed person is afraid to part with the offender, believing that he himself is to blame for all problems.

The main signs of co-dependence:

• constant neglect of their needs for the needs of a partner;
• guilt for the actions of the offender;
• the victim’s thoughts that she deserved such behavior;
• desire to gain the approval of the aggressor.

The consequences of psychological pressure

Constant emotional abuse can lead to the destruction of all social connections, depression, psychological trauma. The victim loses self-esteem, changing her sense of self. Long-term violence against a person is dangerous because it often leads to suicide attempts. Man is tormented by invisible pain, he thinks that life cannot be changed, and suicide is the best way.

How to stop being a victim in a relationship

A person who is systematically subjected to psychological abuse is often unable to evaluate his relationship. For this reason, it is very difficult to get out of a toxic relationship on your own. To protect against the offender, you can contact friends, relatives, specialists of the crisis center.

Among the 150 Russian institutions providing assistance to victims of domestic violence, there are:

• Help Center for families in difficult situations “Kitezh”.
• Dmitrov Center for Social Assistance to Family and Children.
• Center for Social Assistance to Families and Children “Wellbeing”.
• St. Petersburg Regional Public Organization “INGO. Crisis Center for Women “.

Victims of abusive relationships need to do the following:

1. Move away from aggressor, protect children.
2. Contact a psychologist. The specialist will help assess relationships, reduce anxiety, restore confidence..
3. Get rid of contacts with the offender – no communication and personal meetings. You need to block profiles on social networks, add phone numbers to the black list.
4. To do leisure and personal care, to reduce symptoms of depression.