How to refuse a boss and not ruin a relationship

How to refuse a boss

It is difficult to respond negatively to a request, especially if the person who addresses it is your leader. Even with all possible efforts, it can be difficult to complete the task. Therefore, you must correctly and in advance refuse the boss.

Before you go to the boss, think about personal reasons and clearly form an idea of what you want to say. Suggest alternative solutions instead of just saying no.

Find out where to start and how to act so that the refusal is convincing and does not affect the relationship..

Part 1

Determine the cause of failure

If the boss asked to take on work for which there is no time, or which does not meet the duties, make a list of reasons for refusal. Approach this calmly and rationally. Brainstorm and build a convincing position:

• The reasons may be simple. For example, do you have a planned vacation or need to take care of children.

• If the task is not suitable for you professionally, it is important to indicate its inconsistency with your working qualifications.

• When you already have a large workload, and there is no way to take more, say so frankly.

Prioritize

If you have a complex work schedule and you do not believe that you can take on other tasks, take the time to evaluate your priorities. Compare the new assignment with others and consider whether you can effectively switch between them..
If you simply say: “I don’t have time,” the boss will question your work productivity. Therefore, justify load problems, if any. To do this, separate the instructions from each other, arrange them according to priority and deadline.

• Imagine how much time it takes to complete all tasks already in work. Then think about whether you can take another.

• Write a clear and consistent hint for yourself that you will use in a conversation with your boss.

• It is important not to “say” that you will not fulfill your goals, but to “show” that this is not possible in the current situation.

Put yourself in his place

Before you deny the boss, put yourself in his place. Think about the goals of the company. Understanding the motives that drive both sides will help to confidently defend a personal position..

It is likely that if you and no one else complete this task, it will cost the company money. In this case, a very convincing argument and an alternative solution that eliminates losses is needed..

• If you want to abandon the assignment due to priority obligations, think about how this will affect the whole company.

• Imagine what the manager’s response will be to your refusal in this case. If this negatively affects the project, propose an alternative solution.

Choose a language for negotiations

In order to refuse the boss, it is important to formulate your position and conduct the whole conversation in such a way as to say no, without actually saying no. It sounds absurd, but such subtleties are common in business communication. Use a neutral language. Refusal should be exclusively a business decision, not personally tied to you and the boss, no matter how good or bad the relationship. Focus on the company and try to find the best solution for it.

• Speak neutrally and objectively. For example, “if I complete this task, I will not have time to complete the main report this week”.

• Avoid subjective ratings. Don’t say “I won’t do it because I can’t cope with my work”.

Part 2

Have a conversation by choosing the right time

Choose a convenient time. Do not talk in a busy moment for the boss. Perhaps you have an idea of his schedule, but it is better to check the employment with an assistant. Depending on the culture and practice of communication in the office, ask if the manager has a few minutes for negotiations.

• Have a private conversation if your work situation makes it possible.

• Consider the specifics of a particular day (how busy the boss is, can he be annoyed).

• When you need to have a conversation in the first part of the day, it’s better to choose the time before dinner for this.

• If you know that the boss comes to work early, try to “catch” him while there are no other employees.

Be brief

It is important to get to the bottom quickly. Be sure to speak concisely (this requires a preliminary plan), concisely and clearly. No need to take the conversation to the main issue for a long time. The interlocutor will think that you are wasting his time, tune in to a negative decision in advance, and lose sympathy.

Avoid the wording “yes, but …” because the boss is quite happy with “yes.” It is his right to hint that you can accomplish this task by being more organized. Use positive definitions instead of a negative “but” particle. For example, instead of “I know you asked to make this report, but I have too much other work,” try the phrase “I have an idea on how to reorganize the workload in this project”.

Communicate arguments

It is important to present clear facts in the conversation. If you do not make a firm argument, the chief cannot fail. He will not understand why the task cannot be completed..

• When the problem is time, provide the exact reasons why the assignment does not fit into the schedule..

• Link to other priority tasks. For example, “I have a deadline for the quarterly report next week, and this task distracts from its preparation”.

• Emphasize that by transferring an assignment, the boss will benefit the company. Firstly, it will be made faster by another person. Secondly, you better fulfill your current responsibilities.

• Do not go into confrontation or emotional discussion. Be direct, confident and collected..

Don’t put off

Do not delay solving the problem. The longer you postpone the conversation, the fewer opportunities for maneuver will remain – time is running out and “ties” the leader’s hands. Having become embarrassed and waiting until the last minute, you will lose the opportunity to abandon the extra load and take the time for it.

Part 3

Suggest an alternative

During a conversation, it is important not just to refuse the boss, but to convince him of the reorganization of the task. Suggest an alternative solution that says not “I can’t do it”, but “better to do it”.

A good way is to invite the boss to help you prioritize. This shows that you are ready to be as productive as possible, speaks of respect for the leader and the desire to follow his recommendations.

Reinforce your position with a report of a job well done. Note how much time you need to complete specific tasks..

Advise a colleague

Another way to put forward a reasonable alternative is to offer a task to a colleague who deserves extra work. This says that you have thought over the task well, and you have chosen among the employees who will make it better. It’s important for the boss not only to ensure work efficiency, but also to understand what you think about the overall process.

By demonstrating that you are guided by common sense and pay attention to the goals of the company, you form a positive attitude towards yourself. Such an initiative demonstrates that you are aware of the atmosphere in the team and are interested in the progress of colleagues.

Suggest new ideas

If the proposed work requires a lot of time, there is reason to discuss with the head the organization of the process. For example, a decent part of your day is taken by the road to the office, suggest working once a week from home.

When you are ready to argue that a flexible schedule will help you adapt to work responsibilities and increase efficiency, don’t be afraid to say so. But do not forget about the company’s culture – perhaps a flexible schedule simply does not fit the general organization.

Well think over the offer, concretize it for yourself on paper. It makes no sense to go with the idea of change without a willingness to defend it.

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